


Rumor Has It

by RhiaDalish



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Matchmaking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-20
Updated: 2015-11-20
Packaged: 2018-05-02 11:38:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5246891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RhiaDalish/pseuds/RhiaDalish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inquisitor Alyx and Dorian deal with a very serious issue… getting Varric and Cassandra together. But how?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rumor Has It

**Author's Note:**

  * For [broodywolf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/broodywolf/gifts).



“The Inquisition doesn’t need to be in the debt of any organizations of ill-repute, Varric,” Cassandra’s arm were crossed and her eyes were slits as she stared down the smirking dwarf.

“Ill-repute?” You wound me, Seeker,” Varric chuckled, knowing just which of her buttons to push.

“Don’t test your luck, Varric.” Alyx advised with a crooked smile.

“I would heed the Inquisitor’s words,” Cassandra scathed. She uncrossed her arms and paced with her hands on her hips.

“Perhaps we can discuss your other options, Varric?” Josephine deftly inserted herself into the tension, dispersing it like smoke through and open window with her expertly soothing tone.

“I don’t think there was another option, Josie.” Leliana was very skilled at hiding her smiles, but amusement sparkled in her blue eyes.

“Maker’s breath, Varric. Do you really think a gang of former carta members could be trusted to pull of such a delicate operation?” Cullen tapped the pommel of his sword where his hand rested.

“I do,” Varric said smugly.

“Then, please enlighten us,” Alyx waved her arm around gracefully, demonstrating the dwarf’s annoyed yet captive audience.

“The Carta is having a bit of a… management crisis right now,” Varric waved his hand indicating to all present that he was wording things in a very particular way.

“In other words, they want to use us to get the upper hand,” Cassandra stopped pacing just long enough to shoot a piercing glare at Varric.

“Well, yes. But!” Varric held up a hand to keep the Seeker from further protest. She scowled.

“I don’t know about this, Varric.” Alyx realized that drastic times called for drastic measures, but this alliance might cause more harm than good.

“Look, if you aren’t crazy about it, then I can get something in writing –“

“You think those criminals will keep their word just because it was written down? You are wasting our time, dwarf.” Cassandra stood before Varric, straight-backed in order to loom over him menacingly.

“Actually, a carefully drafted contractual agreement is not a bad idea,” Josephine punctuated her words with her quill.

Varric raised his eyebrows and smiled smugly again, “See?”

“Ugh,” Cassandra turned away from the war table and stormed out of the room.

“Well, I’ll get the ball rolling,” Varric gave Alyx a wink, and followed the Seeker from the room. Alyx nodded to her advisers and trailed the dwarf, nearly crashing into Dorian as she crossed the threshold.

“Dorian!” Alyx grabbed his shoulders to help stop herself from slamming into him.

“Oh! Pardon the intrusion, Inquisitor.”

“Intrusion?” Alyx set a hand on her hip and raised an eyebrow. “Dorian were you listening in on the war table meeting again?”

Dorian waved his hand elegantly, no shame on his handsome face. “I just happen to be leaving Lady Montilyet a book and decided to see if the presumably boundless resources of the Inquisition had thought to patch up the gaping hole outside the war room doors.” He spun to face the crumbling fissure in the stone wall. “Apparently not.”

“Dorian…” Alyx made it plain she wasn’t buying his nonsense. He wasn’t even trying.

The mage looked over Alyx’s shoulder then his own and leaned in conspiratorially. “Very well, I have been listening in.”

“Why?” Alyx’s brows knitted together. She and Dorian were on very good terms and she considered him a trusted ally. “If you really want to be a part of the war room meetings, you are welcome to join us.”

“Maker, no. I would shrivel up like a prune from the sheer boredom.” Dorian shook his head with mock serisouness. “We cannot risk it, I’m afraid.”

Alyx rolled her eyes. “Then wh are you snooping?”

“Snooping?” He placed his hand on his chest. “That’s a bit harsh, Inquisitor.”

“Dorian!”

“Fine!” He leaned in again. “It’s Cassandra and VArric.”

“What about them?”

“Obviously they are in love,” he looked at her like she was blind.

“What?” Alyx snorted.

“Oh come now, Alyx. The way they banter so passionately. The stolen glances and the gentle caresses….”

“I think you mean their arguing, glaring, and near-strangulation?” Alyx rubbed her forehead. “I don’t know who you are talking about, Dorian, but it is definitely not Varric and Cassandra.”

“I’m disappointed in you, Inquisitor.” Dorian shook his head with a resigned sigh.

“Apologies,” she patted his shoulder as she went to pass by, but she grabbed her arm to stop her.

“What if I can prove it,” his grey eyes glinted.

“Prove that they are in love?”

“Indeed.”

Alyx felt an annoyed retort cross her tongue, but her curiosity caught in and held it back. Dorian wasn’t one to play jokes or set his friends up for humiliation, so his invested interest in the supposed unrequited romance between his peers was intriguing.

“All right, Dorian.” Alyx held his gaze and spoke seriously, “but this better not be a waste of time. I am very busy.”

“Oh, the Commander can polish his own armor tonight.”

***

“This is insane, Dorian.”

“Maybe a tad,” he agreed casually, his eyes set on the prize – Varric and Cassandra descending into a lowered pit in centered in the old Tevinter ruins Dorian had led them to.

Alyx put her hand on his shoulder and spun him to look at her. “Are you sure this is safe?”

“What are you, their mother?” Dorian’s voice went up an octave, “Remember to wear your helmets, dearies! Do eat your greens!”

Alyx brought her hand off his shoulder and in one quick motion ruffled Dorian’s carefully styled hair. The look of death he cursed her with made her laugh out loud.

“What’s so funny?” Varric called from down below.

“Oh nothing,” Alyx was still laughing at Dorian trying to find a reflective surface in which he could check the damage to his appearance. “Find anything down there?”

“What are we looking for, exactly?” Cassandra called up, her hands cupped over her mouth to amplify her voice.

“Look for a switch or level of some sort,” Dorian called down, watching the Seeker and dwarf with unblinking eyes.

“Why did you and the Inquisitor have to wait up there?” Cassandra’s tone was suspicious.

“Abort?” Alyx whispered to Dorian.

“Coward – ahh!” Dorian cringed away from Alyx’s dirty, hair-ruffling hands.

“You’re the Seeker here,” Varric leaned casually upon a crumbling column, “why don’t you seek it out?”

“I’m not a bloodhound, dwarf.” She approached Varric threateningly. He looked up at Alyx and Dorian and shrugged.

“That clever bastard,” Dorian gasped.

“What?”

“He knows we’re up to something.”

“How does he know?”

“He’s Varric,” Dorian said as if this were all the explanation she needed. She sighed and nodded.

“Well he’s not calling us out or anything.”

“He probably thinks we’re playing a joke on Cassandra and he doesn’t want to miss –“

A loud grinding noise echoed up from the pit below as four thick stone walls raised up from the earth, trapping Varric and Cassandra inside. They both cried out as Alyx and Dorian made their way down the ropes and ladders.

“Varric! Cassandra!” Alyx shouted, giving Dorian a shrug saying _we should at leats act like we are concerned._

He rolled his eyes and nodded. “Are you unhurt?” Dorian added.

“We’re fine, just -- a little trapped.” Varric sounded very annoyed as if realizing the joke was not just on Cassandra this time.

“You must find a way to get us out,” Cassandra’s voice had a slight note of panic. “Quickly.”

“Of course! We will be right back,” Alyx gesticulated at Dorian, asking him what they were planning to do.

Dorian pointed to himself and Alyx then pointed to the ground, his finger to his lips. _We’re going to stay right here and eavesdrop._

Alyx nodded and got comfortable.

***

“Have they gone?” Cassandra asked, sounding like she was still about to start pounding the walls.

“I didn’t hear them leave, but I’m sure they will be back soon enough.”

Dorian mouthed one of his Tevene curses.

Alyx shrugged at him, her eyebrows high.

The mage pointed to where Varric’s voice had come from and then tapped his temple.

She slumped her neck, mouth open. Incredulous.

“You seem awfully calm about being trapped here, Varric.”

“What can we do? Actually,” there was a shuffling noise, “I might have a deck of cards. Want to brush up on your game, Seeker?”

“This is not the time for games!” Cassandra’s voice wavered and she cleared her throat.

Alyx nodded towards Cassandra’s voice, motioned her hands to indicate a four sided box, and then made an exaggerated face of terror.

Dorian shrugged, not breaking his focus on their captives.

“This is the perfect time,” Varric said amiably, as if they were in the tavern back at Skyhold having drinks.

Footsteps echoed off the walls, no doubt Cassandra pacing. Varric hummed to himself, the sound of playing cards flicking in his hands. The pacing finally ceased.

“Fine,” Cassandra hissed and thumped down onto the dirt.

The cards were dealt and Varric began to explain the rules. There was a lull in sound, presumably the players were considering their hands. Dorian rolled his eyes and yawned in boredom. Alyx shot him a reproachful look, but honestly was also waiting for the good part.

“So, Seeker,” Varric finally spoke and Dorian perked up.

“Yes?” she said flatly.

“You do realize that people in Skyhold talk about us,” Varric’s tone was part tease part statement. He was testing her reaction.

Dorian nearly toppled over at Varric’s words.

Alyx put her hand over her mouth.

“What?” Cassandra was utterly confused. “Why?”

“You know…” Varric nudged, again both teasing and testing her.

“Know what?” There was a rustling sound, she was standing up. “Tell me, Varric.”

“Really?” Varric seemed genuinely surprised that she had no inkling of the rumors about the two of them.

“Forget it, I’m going to climb out if I have to.” Cassandra’s voice had tightened, as if she were catching on and wanted to be anywhere but there.

“Come now, it’s just gossip.”

“I don’t want to be the subject of gossip! I am not some swooning, lovesick damsel!”

“That’s for damn sure.”

“It’s insulting!”

“Should I be insulted too, then?”

“Ugh!”

“It’s all in good fun, Seeker. No harm is meant.”

“Rumors like this undermine my authority!”

“Or they make you seem less scary Seeker and more human, Cassandra.”

Cassandra paused in her ranting at his using her name. She sighed heavily.

“You make it sound like I am terrifying beast that devours her enemies.”

“Well…”

To Dorian and Alyx’s shock, Cassandra chuckled.

“I supposed I can be a bit… severe.”

“Exactly,” the cards flicked as Varric shuffled them. “It’s not so bad.”

“But why us?” Cassandra’s voice came closer, towards the dwarf.

“Remember in Swords and Shields when the Templar recruit and the apostate…”

“I remember.”

“Now, remember how exciting it was for two people who are usually at each other throats instead are at each other’s…”

“Yes,” Cassandra sighed, then coughed.

“Well there you have it.”

Alyx tore her eyes from the wall and glanced at Dorian who looked like he was going to burst. She sucked in her breath and held it to keep from laughing. She nearly choked.

“Huh,” Cassandra seemed to be mulling over what Varric had said. “I supposed I can see why people would like to see us… together.”

“Come now, Seeker. Would it really be that bad?”

“What?” Cassandra sounded dumbstruck.

Dorian looked over to Alyx, she gestured a silent scream. This was the best thing that could have happened.

“Ah, I don’t know.”

“What about your lady dwarf? Bianca?”

“Bianca and I,” Varric drew out his words, “it’s complicated.”

“Complicated is not very romantic, Varric.” Cassandra actually sounded a little disappointed, as if she had expected him to dash Bianca to the winds and declare his affections for her.

“Look,” the dwarf sounded uncharacteristically serious, “Cassandra, I know I seem like I’m just here for the wicked grace and endless source material for my books…”

“You’re here to help the Inquisition. I know that.”

“I’m also here because you’re here.”

Dorian and Alyx both made a face of all circles, wide eyes and open mouths.

“Varric…” Cassandra’s voice was low and surprised.

“What can I say? I have a thing for women that kind of want to kill me.”

“I… I don’t…” the Seeker stammered.

Dorian had his hands clasped, sending a silent prayer to the Maker for making this the best possible turnout. Alyx put her fingers on her lips and cupped her hand over her ear.

“Cassandra…”

“Yes Varric?”

“Would you…”

“Would I what, Varric?”

Dorian and Alyx had their faces pressed to the wall, not caring about the dirt caking their clothes. A strange swooping sound then a jarring _KACHINK_ made them jump back and cry out, both of them clapping their hands over their mouths. A large, metal grappling hook was jutting from the top of the wall closest to them.

“Would you give me a boost so I can climb this rope and shoot a Tevinter and a Trevelyan?”

“Gladly.”

Dorian and Alyx scrambled to their feet, climbing up the ladder to the overhang. They both nearly fell off several times, their hands muddy from the wall. Finally, they cleared the lip of the overhand and rolled to safety.

“They knew!” Dorian was in disbelief. “How did they know?!”

“She is called a Seeker, Dorian.” Alyx panted. “And he _is_ Varric.”

“True,” Dorian groaned as he realized how filthy he was.

They peered over the lip of the overhand just to see Varric offering a hand to Cassandra. She took it, hopping down from the rope. He smiled up and her, but she scowled. Alyx felt disappointment sinking into her stomach, but Dorian was grinning from ear to ear. She gave him a questioning look and he nodded back at the Seeker and dwarf below.

They were still holding hands.

**Author's Note:**

> My submission for the @daficswap art/fic swap!


End file.
